I have a heavy heart this week. Most of you know that Eli was hospitalized Monday of this week and diagnosed with diabetes. I brought him home Thursday evening and he's been doing well, but it's still so hard to think about. Seeing Erin's post and the picture of Eli from a few years ago before life touched him really made me cry. I haven't let myself think about it in any sense other than the pragmatic or I know I'll totally lose it. A couple times I've started to tear up, but I feel like now's not the time to let go. There's still so much to do. We have to find a way to make it through the next few weeks. Eli doesn't have sick days, so next week we won't see a paycheck. On top of which his insulin and suppplies are $450 a month, and we're going to run out of the freebies they gave us in the next couple days. I know God will make a way for us (He always does) but it's hard to sit on my hands and wait while trying to decide what bills I can pay and how I'm going to afford the medicine he needs. Brayden's birthday is in two weeks and I know I should probably use the money Eli's parents sent for his present (a train table and train set) for insulin, but I just can't bring myself to think about it. We went looking at toys today and he beelined for the little train table they had set up. I just don't know if I can take his present away from him. We're hoping the doctor will have some samples we can use. Eli has been doing well. He has been taking the basal 24-hour insulin every night. But he's not been taking the rapid acting insulin each time he eats and his blood sugar hasn't gone above 200. Nor has it really risen after eating. It gives us a little hope. I'm looking for a specialist so we can have the proper tests run and know for sure if his pancreas is working at all and what may have triggered this all of a sudden. And then we have to let the Air Force know. I don't know what they're going to do. It's all a lot right now.